The ultimate show of self-love is to protect ourselves from trigger situations and prevent an emotional downslide that can compromise well-being. A lot of us have grievances and issues. And even though we may think we’ve dealt with them, they can still trigger us emotionally.

How do we prevent ourselves from getting triggered?

First, we have to protect ourselves from trigger situations. If you love yourself and nurture yourself and respect yourself,
you want to be aware of your triggers and protect yourself from those.

Here’s an example A while ago I was in a negotiating situation with somebody that just pushed my buttons. I didn’t like how they acted, or how they dealt with me.

Before negotiation sessions I would meditate and try to prepare myself. I even had an arbitrator there to decide the outcome, so it wouldn’t feel like “me versus them”. Somebody else was going to decide, “You’re right, and you’re wrong.”

Additionally, I was going into this negotiation with the attitude of accepting whatever the arbitrator’s outcome would be. I told myself, “I’m going to accept the outcome, whatever it is.”

I meditated so I would not be triggered.

And I found that, even when I did all that, the other person would just keep at it, at it, AT IT! And then, at some point, I’d be triggered.

So in this particular example, I stormed out of the meeting.

Then I started an email to say, “Okay as a result of this meeting I have justifiable anger and I am not going to do this, and I am not going to do that!”

And then I caught myself – in the middle of this trigger reaction – and I sent the email to a friend of mine.

Taking a step back

I said to my friend, “What do you think?”

He said, “Are you sure you want to send this? I mean, this is going to make it war. You might get your way in this particular area, but will you really like the aftermath?”

Thank God I asked him to look at that email. I ended up rewriting it from a compassionate standpoint: “I understand where you are coming from and I do not blame you. So here’s the thing that might work better, and why.”

I dealt with it – without anger.

But I was triggered in that meeting, and knowing that I can be easily triggered, one thing I could have done is to not be in the meeting in the first place. Because I’ve realized that I can be triggered despite my best efforts.

So it is part of taking care of myself to avoid these trigger situations that could compromise me. Because when I’m upset and I react out of emotion on anything, I will always, always, lose.

We ALWAYS lose when we act out of emotion. You’re afraid, you’re angry…and then all of a sudden, you become the center of attention, not the issue.

It’s your anger the other person judges, not your position.

And you lose. You want to resolve the issue, but instead you’re making an emotional scene.

If you love yourself and nurture yourself and respect yourself, you want to be aware of your triggers and protect yourself from them.